


How To Make Money and Pick Up Guys

by amaresu



Category: Agents of Cracked
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 13:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaresu/pseuds/amaresu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict Arnold has never been subtle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Make Money and Pick Up Guys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lionessvalenti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/gifts).



The first time they had sex was two days after the failed theft of the Golden Poo. Daniel had been minding his own business at the bank when it was robbed. It was the familiar leer that gave him away. Masked bank robbers shouldn't be noticeable for that, but the vaguely dirty and somewhat exciting feeling brought on by the leer, combined with the distinctive body twist, made Daniel certain that the person holding him at gun point was in fact Benedict Arnold. Which was surprising because Daniel figured that a) it'd take more than two days to get over a ceiling falling on you, and b) that Benedict would've left town after everything. Apparently neither of those things were true. 

What was true was that Benedict used him as a human shield while making his escape and they somehow ended up in a skeevy hotel room on the other side of town, get away car parked outside with the keys in the ignition. It would be gone within the hour. Daniel wasn't entirely sure what he was doing there, but he made sure to call the police and let them know he was okay and pretend he didn't know anything, because that was now his life. “Yeah, sure, I'll come in tomorrow and give a statement. Yes, I'm fine. He threw me out of the car as soon as we got off the freeway.”

“Everything taken care of?” Benedict said from the other side of the room where he was counting his take from the robbery as Daniel hung up the phone. At Daniel's nod he stood up and started stripping, “Good.”

“I, wait, what?” Daniel asked as Benedict stalked across the room, dropping clothing items as he went. Benedict didn't respond, just pulled Daniel in for a kiss, and Daniel was never one to not accept kisses so he went with it. After they broke apart Daniel paused in taking his pants off long enough to ask, “Seriously?”

Benedict pushed him onto the bed and finished pulling off Daniel's pants, “Robbing banks makes me horny.”

It was good enough reason for Daniel.

The second time they had sex was in a back alley after Benedict held up the Subway where Daniel had just bought his lunch. It was so much sex as mutual blow jobs in the cleanest section they could find, followed by splitting his sandwich while sitting on the fire escape nearby. In other words a perfectly good way to spend his lunch break.

The third time they had sex Daniel was starting to see a pattern. More than just Benedict showing up and robbing things at any rate. Although the car sex after Benedict robbed the old lady who'd been waiting in front of him at the stop light was fantastic, the fact that he also stole the old lady's bag from Blockbuster was a hint that something else was going on. Especially when Benedict came back to Daniel's place to watch the movies, or at least part of the movies as the old lady had terrible taste, and more sex. 

The pattern really fell into place after Benedict held up the taco stand down the street from the Cracked offices, jumped into Daniel's car as he rounded the corner and then suggested they knock over a Redbox. “We'll get our pick of the movies. No chance of accidentally ending up with A Walk in the Clouds.”

“Are we dating?” Daniel blurted out as he turned towards the McDonalds that he knew had a Redbox in their entryway. He hadn't meant to say it, but the overall theme seemed to be dinner and a movie, which was dating. 

“Maybe?” Benedict actually looked a little bit shifty and uncomfortable as he answered, “Maybe we're just having food, movies, and sex.”

“Okay,” Daniel nodded and tried to remember the exact sequence for stopping. Even after re-learning how to drive sometimes it just left him at the most inconvenient moments. “Food, movies, and sex. I can do that.”


End file.
